Thursday, January 18, 2007
Writing Exercise #4 - Add to the Drama
I'm working on creating a scenario to work on adding to the drama...or the suspense. The suggested exercise was to write the paragraph before finding a dead person (yuck!) So instead I'm using a baby. Like a baby that could potentially be left, but still not an ideal find none-the-less. The goal is to attract the reader to the paragraph to follow, making her want to skip ahead, and holding her to the paragraph by virtue of interest. Ok, here goes...
The house was dark except the light in the entryway. Avery suspected Jackie left it on to welcome them home. Yet she didn't feel welcomed--she was uneasy. There was some unsettling sense that Jackie wouldn't have gone to bed this early. The baby would need another feeding before they could both fall asleep. Newborns sleep a lot, don't be foolish. The relief Avery induced was shortlived as the garage door opened to two empty stalls. Jackie didn't have a carseat for Jillian yet, and she couldn't take the baby anywhere without one. Jackie wouldn't leave Jillian there sleeping. No. Jackie was a teen mom, but she wouldn't dream of something like that. She couldn't.
That's that...give your own paragraphs a try! How could this paragraph be improved???