Search This Blog

Wednesday, September 09, 2015

The Sum of a Few Spare Parts

Sept. 8th: Carolyn would have been 67. Getting through the day by remembering the good times and birthdays past. I'm grateful for having shared life and love with her for 20+ years. I'm also grateful for her example of strength, courage, toughness, kindness and compassion, traits that I try to carry with me each day to honor her memory. Miss you my love. --from her husband Gene

Over the past weekend I thought about Carolyn at a Lifelight concert by Burlap to Cashmere. Carolyn always loved something she owned constructed out of cashmere.  I started thinking about the band's name again..."Burlap to Cashmere."  

When I have sought fulfillment out of the world or my accomplishments, I've felt lost and represented the burlap.  With faith; however, I have access to cashmere in all it's glory!  

But I tend to "live" with burlap...

I remember when I had passed out getting an X-ray done for the removal of my wisdom teeth. It was placed far back in my mouth and it hurt, thus causing me to black out. The unfortunate event that followed was that I went by emergency room to the hospital from the dentist's office, only to find my dental X-rays were incomplete and my parents were stuck with a large emergency room bill.  I was very frustrated in that I would have to repeat the process, and my dentist asked me to find another location to get it done (he'd only been my dentist since childhood!) 

I lamented to my now-husband that I didn't know why I should even try to go through the X-rays as it would make me pass out again -- after all, this was how God made me...a FAINTER!  

So Chad suggested I pray about it to which I told him this didn't qualify for prayer because it was not something that could change.  He told me he'd pray anyway and see what God would do. 

Imagine as I went to the Twin Cities, and the updated technology allowed me to have my first panoramic X-ray back in the late 90's!  The X-ray film never even entered my mouth, and the problem was solved.

I really did laugh over the little faith I had that God could fix the problem, but later in life I've come to realize how many, many times I have prayed with virtually no hope -- and really trust -- that a remedy would be provided.  

Can we suffer from feelings that we don't really need or deserve what our heart desires or believe these situations that seem impossible to remedy (like my teeth) can be solved and neglect Him?

The subsequent provision can be missed because we base a decision not to pray from feeling disappointed. 

For me personally, I now see that I had a belief that Jesus took the penalty for my sin, but the faith of a mustard seed, often times has not even existed.  I am desiring to shift to having faith in small things or large, extending the request and seeing how God "handles" it.  There are long-term requests that I do keep asking about, yet I don't resolve so quickly that the delay is a denial.  How about you?  I'd like to hear your thoughts right now.
I've been noticing this over and over again, and taking my heart to the Lord.

I know there are many people out there who feel and respond to needs by a sense of burden and with a small response to a great desire.  On the other hand, I was blessed with a Grandma who when I asked her if I could pop come popcorn at her house responded, "Jennifer...You can have anything to eat in this house that you want to eat!"  I think this was after repeatedly asking her politely for various items, and she just figured it'd be easier to let me know I had full-access.  

Could our sight be limited in the wisdom God has to offer us?  I think so.

But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. James 1:6

And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.  Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Matthew 6:7-8

So, thank God that He KNOWS what you need -- a Heavenly Father with a pantry of veggies and all the ingredients to help you grow S T R O N G physically and spiritually -- helping others, nurturing the heart and showing you where you're only believing for burlap. Remember, it's not very cuddly!  Let's seek HIM for revelation while struggling with life in the world.  It's only then we won't miss HIM singing through the birds  -- showing us how to proceed and taking care of the little things like dental X-rays.  Amen.

From "Skin is Burning" by Burlap to Cashmere - link below...
And my skin is burning with the fire of the world
Sometimes my eyes are tricking me
But when the words of His song
Are singing through the birds
I can't help but die, so He can take me higher
I can't help but die, so He can take me higher
And this dark small pain grows like cancer
Sometimes her eyes are speaking to me
But when the flesh is gone, my soul is all I travel by
And my guitar will vanish like the earth and the sea
Yes, my guitar will vanish like the earth
And my skin is burning with the fire of the world
Sometimes my eyes are tricking me
But when the words of His song
Are singing through the birds
I can't help but die, so He can take me higher
I can't help but die, so He can take me higher

No comments: